I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
