is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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