relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
