watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
