sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i need some magic done to my vagina
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
