I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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