It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He had one of those small greek statue penises
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
