Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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