4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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