it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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