OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
