Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
