How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
