we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
