Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
