My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
