i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
