I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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