Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
