i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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