Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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