The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
