Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
