He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
