Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
