So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
