You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
