i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
