He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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