It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
