If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
