i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
