Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
