You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
another moral hangover. fuck.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My ass is underappreciated
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
