It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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