Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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