I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
