I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
