Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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