There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
