Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
