You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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