you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
