Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
