i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
