Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
