Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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