You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
