Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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