in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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