Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ugly people sure do ruin things
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
