pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
