if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
